Joy & community goes off the rails & dons Santa hats

Where are the community spaces? A discussion thread

I’ve been craving community since I started raising kids in the culture of Rugged Individualism, a.k.a. ‘Merica. I’ve craved it like someone craves deviled eggs when pregnant, strong jawlines when ovulating, or softness.

My therapist told me I need to write down all the ways I’m experiencing joy and community.

Watching my daughter experience joy and community in the Gold Town Theater Christmas Bazaar Extravaganza filled me with joy and community.

They say we try to give our children what we lacked growing up. I grew up on “Geriatric Lane” and often found myself on the outside of friendship circles.

I fell in love and married a man nicknamed “The Ambassador” because he offered community. When he was terrible, I figured that was the price I had to pay to belong.

A second husband and two kids later, I live Out the Road. I’m homeschooling my daughter, and she has few friends. Her autism and extra-ness, plus screaming and destructive traits, combine with my neurodivergence to cook up one flat soufflé of numbness and shutdown. Things that used to bring me joy don’t as much now.

With her tendency for sensory overwhelm, it was risky to put my daughter in this wackadoodle Christmas show, but she wanted to do it. It was risky for her to get on stage and sing by herself with a new pianist. They told her there would be some judging (the theme was “Star Search”), and she fought back tears and got on that stage anyway.

She got a perfect score and won! I am so proud of her bravery.

The safe choice would’ve been to stay at home. The safe choice would be to not put yourself out there; indeed, hard work does not always result in obvious reward ($$$). But the universe rewards in other ways that matter more—with connection.

This brings us to our discussion on community.

Back in the day, we connected and created community over the fire. We told stories as flames danced over our faces and created monster shadows.

Today, our fire is the screen. No surprise, the youth are dealing with a major loneliness crisis. They tell each other to “go touch grass.”

As teenagers, we used to go to Marine Park to find our friends. It was our village plaza; we created relationships IRL. Now, millions of tourists off cruise ships have taken over the plaza. Our city recently voted on an initiative to implement Ship-Free Saturdays. Despite the tourism industry’s record profits, the initiative was voted down, because capitalism.

Again, we turn to art for community. When the world went into pandemic lockdown, Gold Town Theater set up Juneau’s first drive-in movie theater. Our dance group, the Off the Hook Honeys, performed in an outdoor Gold Town Christmas Variety Show, stopping at more than twenty locations to sing songs, dance, and bring people together. (SMU DataArts National Center for Arts Research just voted Juneau #3 for the top arts town with a population under 100,000 in the U.S.)

Substack is another place for community, like this newsletter!

Where are your community spaces? How are you finding community these days? Sound off in the comments!

Now please enjoy my impromptu dance moves at the Xmas show “dance-off” below this paywall.

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