Being a people pleaser gets us nowhere, I agree, Summer. However, some of the most persuasive people who speak their truth are very civil, and I think that's important too.
Take the ongoing genocide for instance. It takes an emotional toll, and not that I want to, but I have to tone police for the sake of my own stress levels, and I'm sure many others are like that.
But I also need to hear the truth plainly spoken.
An example of someone who does this really well is Professor Marandi from Iran. I get what seems to me to be accurate information in a way that I'm able to listen to. There are others who present in ways that my traumatized by the genocide self can listen to. Loud and rude is just too much for me right now.
I'd like to offer another perspective, Summer. Resistance is the doing (physical) part of our being. But there are also three other parts to self. The mental, spiritual, and, most important, the emotional. The greatest act of resistance isn't even visible to our physical eyes. And that is healing our emotional and spiritual wounds and embracing our inner community of self. When we bask in the love of our inner community, united and whole, we find the strength to ignore others' opinions and live our own personal truth. We don't need to trade freedom for security because we already feel secure and connected. We don't feel alienated because we live out of all of our being and that automatically links us to other and to the Divine, however we imagine it. The strongest resistance is inner resistance. The source of outer peace is inner peace. But because we can't see these things physically we tend not to trust them.
Self-care is indeed community care, and it is up to us to help those who are less able. Why is this so difficult? I am with you, Summer, in all that you have said. To be silent is to be complicit, period, end of story.
You are right, there are good people making good trouble in some instances but not enough! It's "face time" Summer, as in the face and loud of any representative or enabler of this dictatorship in the making!!!
Right. The other side is so loud and direct, it seems time has come to balance that with our own. When I was in a yelling relationship, my partner could only hear me when I yelled back. I tried responding calmly, but he couldn't hear me until I yelled. Then he would be quiet and listen.
Exactly, we don't get listened to, we don't draw crowds, we don't get coverage and those who represent us don't get scared of us and pay attention unless we get loud! A Loud Crowd!!!
Nope, you are not wrong. We need to fight like we never have before and we need to accept we’re going to get dirty. Take the gloves off and fight for our lives. Hopefully our elected officials have come to the same conclusions. Great post and timely.
Thank you Summer for your strong advocacy for democracy, stepping out of comfort zones, and making good loud trouble.
I loved this: “But why should it be up to marginalized folks to fight? Self-care is community care. Community care means sacrificing our privilege for those who are more vulnerable, even at the risk of making ourselves uncomfortable and unlikable. It’s not enough to just “practice joy” as resistance.
As Qasim Rashid, Esq. says, “The politics of politeness are over.”
THE LEFT HOOK with Wajahat Ali says, “In the interest of your feeling of security, you are giving up your liberties.” Meaning: Today, they come for (fill in the blank). Tomorrow, they come for you.”
I would note, along the lines of where I think you're ultimately going, that many people countered Naziism and Italian Fascism with well-structured arguments, politely delivered.
Then, after the first opponents were imprisoned or shot, many people countered Naziism and Italian Fascism with well-structured arguments, politely delivered, from a distance.
Ultimately, the only well-structured arguments that made significant impact against Naziism and Italian Fascism were delivered, with extreme prejudice and minimal courtesy, by Allied soldiers, sailors, and airmen and the weapons they carried.
I hate that this is so. As I age, the reasons or causes for which I am willing to do violence to another human being get fewer and fewer. And in the words of Phil Ochs, "It's always the old to lead us to the wars / Always the young to fall." But sometimes, those who would enslave us leave us no choice.
Next Friday, June 6th, marks the 81st anniversary of D-Day, the landings at Normandy that began the invasion of Europe. That might be a good day for reflection - what will it take for us to free ourselves of our own fascist scourge? "The eyes of the world are upon [us]. The hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with [us]." (Eisenhower)
Sadly, yes. I thought about writing "remote learning" or "lockdown" in there instead, but then I changed it to COVID. Because that's what we called it then, COVID pre-vaccines.
I love this: “The politics of politeness are over.”
We should never be bullied, threatened, or afraid of any dictator. And, there are many ways to fight oppression.
Being a people pleaser gets us nowhere, I agree, Summer. However, some of the most persuasive people who speak their truth are very civil, and I think that's important too.
Take the ongoing genocide for instance. It takes an emotional toll, and not that I want to, but I have to tone police for the sake of my own stress levels, and I'm sure many others are like that.
But I also need to hear the truth plainly spoken.
An example of someone who does this really well is Professor Marandi from Iran. I get what seems to me to be accurate information in a way that I'm able to listen to. There are others who present in ways that my traumatized by the genocide self can listen to. Loud and rude is just too much for me right now.
Here's a clip of Professor Marandi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvvyDvpDbB4
Here's a post with a list of others that I find worth listening to: https://dianavaneyk.substack.com/p/geopolitially-context-is-everything
Can we be ourselves and still be civil? I think so, but I think it's something of an art. Thanks for posting.
Thank you for sharing this. And yes, valid points.
Thanks, Summer.
If being likable was a super power, women and girls would own the world.
Haha yep!
I'd like to offer another perspective, Summer. Resistance is the doing (physical) part of our being. But there are also three other parts to self. The mental, spiritual, and, most important, the emotional. The greatest act of resistance isn't even visible to our physical eyes. And that is healing our emotional and spiritual wounds and embracing our inner community of self. When we bask in the love of our inner community, united and whole, we find the strength to ignore others' opinions and live our own personal truth. We don't need to trade freedom for security because we already feel secure and connected. We don't feel alienated because we live out of all of our being and that automatically links us to other and to the Divine, however we imagine it. The strongest resistance is inner resistance. The source of outer peace is inner peace. But because we can't see these things physically we tend not to trust them.
Good stuff as usual Summer.
The line ‘fear of abandonment’ took me back to a sort of rocky time in life, divorced, a pretty messed up girlfriend/drinking buddy/arguing pal.
We would get so angry that one of would start to storm out. Halted by the plaintive cry of the other…
“Fear Of Abandonment!!”
That was our safe word I suppose.
Oh i love that 💕
Self-care is indeed community care, and it is up to us to help those who are less able. Why is this so difficult? I am with you, Summer, in all that you have said. To be silent is to be complicit, period, end of story.
You are right, there are good people making good trouble in some instances but not enough! It's "face time" Summer, as in the face and loud of any representative or enabler of this dictatorship in the making!!!
Right. The other side is so loud and direct, it seems time has come to balance that with our own. When I was in a yelling relationship, my partner could only hear me when I yelled back. I tried responding calmly, but he couldn't hear me until I yelled. Then he would be quiet and listen.
Exactly, we don't get listened to, we don't draw crowds, we don't get coverage and those who represent us don't get scared of us and pay attention unless we get loud! A Loud Crowd!!!
Nope, you are not wrong. We need to fight like we never have before and we need to accept we’re going to get dirty. Take the gloves off and fight for our lives. Hopefully our elected officials have come to the same conclusions. Great post and timely.
That's where I'm at. The old ways aren't working. I'm a pacifist, I get it. I love peace as much as the next lib. But we need to fight back.
I wonder if part of it is our sense of safety - whether that's real or perceived. and the overwhelm that leads to collapse?
also: have you read Valerie Kaur? I've found a lot of hope in grappling with her explanation of revolutionary love --> https://valariekaur.com/books/see-no-stranger/
no answers, obviously. but I hear you.
xxx
Thank you Summer for your strong advocacy for democracy, stepping out of comfort zones, and making good loud trouble.
I loved this: “But why should it be up to marginalized folks to fight? Self-care is community care. Community care means sacrificing our privilege for those who are more vulnerable, even at the risk of making ourselves uncomfortable and unlikable. It’s not enough to just “practice joy” as resistance.
As Qasim Rashid, Esq. says, “The politics of politeness are over.”
THE LEFT HOOK with Wajahat Ali says, “In the interest of your feeling of security, you are giving up your liberties.” Meaning: Today, they come for (fill in the blank). Tomorrow, they come for you.”
I would note, along the lines of where I think you're ultimately going, that many people countered Naziism and Italian Fascism with well-structured arguments, politely delivered.
Then, after the first opponents were imprisoned or shot, many people countered Naziism and Italian Fascism with well-structured arguments, politely delivered, from a distance.
Ultimately, the only well-structured arguments that made significant impact against Naziism and Italian Fascism were delivered, with extreme prejudice and minimal courtesy, by Allied soldiers, sailors, and airmen and the weapons they carried.
I hate that this is so. As I age, the reasons or causes for which I am willing to do violence to another human being get fewer and fewer. And in the words of Phil Ochs, "It's always the old to lead us to the wars / Always the young to fall." But sometimes, those who would enslave us leave us no choice.
Next Friday, June 6th, marks the 81st anniversary of D-Day, the landings at Normandy that began the invasion of Europe. That might be a good day for reflection - what will it take for us to free ourselves of our own fascist scourge? "The eyes of the world are upon [us]. The hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with [us]." (Eisenhower)
People are still dying from COVID.
Sadly, yes. I thought about writing "remote learning" or "lockdown" in there instead, but then I changed it to COVID. Because that's what we called it then, COVID pre-vaccines.