Eclipsing toxic masculinity
About suns and sons
Holy skibbitytoilets eclipse energy, Batman! I don’t know about you, but this forward-propelling eclipse in concert with Mercury in retrograde after six months of nonstop winter/school closure has me shook. Two nights ago, I felt like my entire body was buzzing, and I could not fall asleep until past two in the morning.
Is anyone else feeling kittywampus these days? If you are, please know you’re not alone. Teachers know that kids act up the most (i.e., get irritable) during big-time transitions, the biggest one being winter to spring. And we’re still all little humans inside, for the most part.
Also, Mercury, the planet of communication, is in retrograde, and if that sounds woo to you, remember that the moon and sun pull the tide. Is it so far-fetched that other celestial bodies wouldn’t affect us, who are also made of water?
Okay, now down to bidness.
I admit I was pretty blown away at the responses from men in my last couple of posts about masculinity. I imagined men would be more defensive, but it turns out many felt seen instead.
It turns out they, too, are tired of a culture that dictates males must be strong, tough, independent cowboy superheroes who accept no help and aren’t allowed to feel while also dying younger, lonelier, and with higher rates of suicide and substance abuse.
One of the reasons Barbie (the movie) resonated with so many women and men was because of how it satirized toxic masculinity. Who doesn’t love a good patriarchy subverting? And when was the last time we saw macho guys dancing on stage with floaties?
Although women directed the movie and Oscar performance of “I’m Just Ken” (Greta Gerwig and Mandy Moore, respectively), three men (Ryan Gosling, Mark Ronson, and Andrew Wyatt) creatively weighed in on the Academy Awards show. They conjured a world where cowboys could be vulnerable, hug it out, and listen to each other’s feelings. Like this:
It seems like not a week goes by that an Alaskan friend, acquaintance, or family member dies suddenly, unexpectedly, and too young. Sometimes from a heart attack, sometimes an overdose, or suicide.
Tragically, an acquaintance recently posted on Facebook that her father had just committed suicide, all for the same reasons I mentioned in my post: Patriarchy is Bad for Men, too. He kept his feelings bottled up. Wouldn’t ask for help. Thought that he had to do it all alone. Was immensely lonely.
In The Conversation, Professor Ruth Mace (UCL Anthropology) writes: “[It] is clear that … the patriarchy is unpopular with many men and women in much of the world.” Men are ready for change, too.
I created the Feral Stack to decode culture, identify cultural behaviors and values that no longer serve us, and propose new ones that do. Born and raised in Alaska, neurodivergent, with an autistic child, having lived several years in Latin America and the Caribbean, and studying cultural anthropology and decolonization educational approaches under Native Alaskan teachers, elders, and culture bearers, my perspective of Anglo-American culture is that of insider and outsider.
In my last post, we discussed the cultural implications of God’s female-to-male evolution. In this post, we explore how culture is rebalancing toward a more feminine expression.
So here is a beautiful thing that popped up on my social media feed. Ursala Hudson Kadusné is an acclaimed Tlingit weaver residing in the Southwest (and also the sister of my good friend and world-renowned weaver Lily Hope).
She writes:
“I’ve been sensing that the shape of our current performance and ceremonial systems likely have oppressive and patriarchal values embedded in them, whether adopted from the colonial system or passed on from the historical Tlingit culture. So I’m experimenting with discarding those influences and turning to what I imagine to be the opposite—so, tapping into female energy and contributions—to overcompensate for the lack of inclusion of female/queer representation.”
“Who told me how to move? How to act? To replicate? To blend in? To be quiet? I’m trying to break free.”
Ultimately, we are all trying to break free of cultural norms and expectations that no longer serve us. We are all on the quest to discover our individual truth. And yet, we are also seeking to belong to the greater group.
As we move toward freedom from colonization and patriarchy, we course-correct through art and individual expression, as Kadusné does.
Speaking of, here is a blurb I wrote for the Juneau Community Foundation on the importance of art. The foundation recently awarded me a $5,000 grant to write my memoir and put on a book event. Thank you, JCF! 💗
Well, that’s all I have for today. I’ve been celebrating my dad’s 80th birthday, singing several rounds of “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” and reprising the Crosby, Stills & Nash favorites replete with three-part harmonies.
Did I mention my sister is in town? And that she hugs trees? To get warm? If you didn’t know, trees are also very buzzy. Try it. You’ll see.
Oh and I’ve been rehearsing and performing (dancing) at the Alaska State Folk Festival (pictures forthcoming).
In the meantime, here’s a picture of me singing all originals in the 1990 Folk Fest. I’m the one in the middle. Look at that hair.
Personally, I feel like a germinating crocus seed not ready to emerge from under the soil just yet, but Folk Fest has other plans…
Have you noticed a cultural/energy shift? Did you love the “I’m Just Ken” dance sequence in the movie as much as I did? Sound off in the comments!
Xo,
Summer (who is giving Winter vibes RN)
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Also, if you touch the ❤️ below, more people will see this post, and you will help spread the message far and wide! Ty!
Have you noticed a cultural/energy shift?
It took me forever because, I tried to force the story (of my life). After years of writing, I finally learned to surrender to the story that wanted to be told. Even my years of teaching and working with other writers didn't prepare me for the work of writing a memoir. I'll just say that when I stopped resisting the story, it told itself. It takes a while to get to that point.