It took me forever because, I tried to force the story (of my life). After years of writing, I finally learned to surrender to the story that wanted to be told. Even my years of teaching and working with other writers didn't prepare me for the work of writing a memoir. I'll just say that when I stopped resisting the story, it told itself. It takes a while to get to that point.
Listen to what you are hearing. Seriously, listen deeply to the story. Do you have a writing group or a developmental editor? I worked with one who's intuitive and she was very helpful.
One of my favorite moments in "Barbie" is when he's deliberately excluding her, and he looks at her with his eyes kind of filling (right before the sunglasses moment) and says, "It is not fun, is it?" It reminds me, as you say about being grown children, how much being "left out" hurt as a child and must still inform so much of what we do! PS I always touch tree branches when we're outside -- a lifelong practice
Exactly. The patriarchy social structure is only good for wealthy men. Everyone else suffers needlessly, as I explain in my book, Pitiless Bronze: A Postpatriarchal Examination of Prepatriarchal Cultures. Once men discovered they play a role in pregnancy, they worked hard to change the narrative from women-as-creators to males-as-creators, but in the process had to denigrate and oppress everything Feminine (egyonovi, the suppression of the feminine), so women went from "sinnestra" (Akkadian for women) to sinister. I discuss these changes and more in my book, as well as mention how equality for all threatens the patriarchy the most.
Refreshingly, honest, as always. There is a certain fearlessness to your writing, which one does not see you too often. It’s a kind of controlled anger and disappointment fueled by idealism.
As a child, I saw toxic masculinity start with a someone's dad hitting the son, who in turn needed to be a tough-guy so he got into fist fights with other boys, who got into fist fights with other boys...and it played out that way in my generation. Many such boys got in trouble with the law, some became petty criminals, or not-so-petty. Many in my generation saw this pattern like I did, and chose other paths. And many found strong female mates to share the load equally with.
Sounds about right :( also supports all the data about parenting and spanking I've read so far. Physical punishment might be an easy fix, but causes greater problems in the long run. hopefully that is starting to change...
My sense is that it has changed. I think the threat of spanking, holding that over the child's head is what was behavior changing. Parents used to spend less time with their kids, and spanking was a threat and a "quick fix." - "Children are to be seen but not heard" is something that was frequently said in our household.
Ah yes, we go into our 🦎 brains when we are being exposed to ideas outside of our imaginations that make us feel unsafe. Happens when you have grown up with out many viewpoints. But I’ve seen it happen even with open minded folks.
Yes. We go in to our lizard brain when we are scared and feeling unsafe. It happens when you have not been exposed to different viewpoints growing up. But I’ve seen it happen even with open-minded, progressive people.
Congratulations on your award. I look forward to reading your memoir. Having just published one, I'll tell you, it's a riveting journey you're about to take. Peace and balance to you.
Also, to answer your question, I find exercise, silence and nature to be my best friend in times of massive planetary transitions. Cutting out as much distractions as possible— as often as possible. The vibrations in the body can cause intense mental stimulation when we’re trying to sleep or focus on a simple task. We are the you-inverse, we forget sometimes. I feel it’s super important to know what the mind is choosing to dig into and redirect its focus as needed, the body will follow. I have a recipe coming out that targets these imbalances as well!
Heck to the yes! And that’s what makes this whole situation so complex with all the spring extroverted energy when really we just want to reground & be still to experience at all. Looking forward to your post!
Well I'm an astrologer so I most definitley notice the shifts. It's my business to listen to creation... including the human part. As for coping with the amount of raw energy moving through the collective about now, I feel like the best thing - at least for me, is to spend as much time as possible outside. Fortunately it's Spring and the days are long and the garden is calling. So back outside I go. The eclipse and Mercury's retrograde energies seems softer out there. The backlog of emails and work can wait a few hours.
first, happy sun spin to you dad! may the celebrations be joyous.
second, congratulations on receiving the grant!!! may the opportunity it offers allow the gift of your wisdom to be expanded.
and yes, lots of shifting going on around here. and i love what you noted: "we’re still all little humans inside, for the most part." unfortunately, many adults haven't figured out how to care for the wee human inside with hugs.
i do agree there is a cultural shift. and damn it, marketing and capitalism has caught the $$$making scent and is trying to expand there too. so these will be interesting times...
Haha true. We all have to do capitalism even tho we don’t like it. I struggle there, too! Can i just do art? As a mom of a Neurodivergent kid and teacher and artist most of what I do is for free. But times are so expensive so even artists are finally asking to be paid, but to do that we have to market. Gratefully, there are still organizations that appreciate art, and put their money where their mouth is like foundation that awarded me the grant. You know it’s kind of rad in that way. Juneau is one of the top 10 cities in the US for arts just based upon the money spent in the arts per capita. ❤️
I love this, and love to know of fellow Alaskan women exploring these issues--and how patriarchy hurts men as well as women, how embedded they are in so many traditions and the institutions and ways that have been ingrained in us. And to demand something different. Congrats on the grant, that's fantastic your words will be out in the world. 💜
Have you noticed a cultural/energy shift?
It took me forever because, I tried to force the story (of my life). After years of writing, I finally learned to surrender to the story that wanted to be told. Even my years of teaching and working with other writers didn't prepare me for the work of writing a memoir. I'll just say that when I stopped resisting the story, it told itself. It takes a while to get to that point.
Fascinating. How does one stop resisting and surrender to the story?
Listen to what you are hearing. Seriously, listen deeply to the story. Do you have a writing group or a developmental editor? I worked with one who's intuitive and she was very helpful.
One of my favorite moments in "Barbie" is when he's deliberately excluding her, and he looks at her with his eyes kind of filling (right before the sunglasses moment) and says, "It is not fun, is it?" It reminds me, as you say about being grown children, how much being "left out" hurt as a child and must still inform so much of what we do! PS I always touch tree branches when we're outside -- a lifelong practice
Love that practice 🌳 and yes to everything else you say. Exclusion is still so palpable esp after covid & social bubbles
Exactly. The patriarchy social structure is only good for wealthy men. Everyone else suffers needlessly, as I explain in my book, Pitiless Bronze: A Postpatriarchal Examination of Prepatriarchal Cultures. Once men discovered they play a role in pregnancy, they worked hard to change the narrative from women-as-creators to males-as-creators, but in the process had to denigrate and oppress everything Feminine (egyonovi, the suppression of the feminine), so women went from "sinnestra" (Akkadian for women) to sinister. I discuss these changes and more in my book, as well as mention how equality for all threatens the patriarchy the most.
Wow, fascinating!
Refreshingly, honest, as always. There is a certain fearlessness to your writing, which one does not see you too often. It’s a kind of controlled anger and disappointment fueled by idealism.
Angry, sad, and idealist are all my middle names :-)
thank you
As a child, I saw toxic masculinity start with a someone's dad hitting the son, who in turn needed to be a tough-guy so he got into fist fights with other boys, who got into fist fights with other boys...and it played out that way in my generation. Many such boys got in trouble with the law, some became petty criminals, or not-so-petty. Many in my generation saw this pattern like I did, and chose other paths. And many found strong female mates to share the load equally with.
Sounds about right :( also supports all the data about parenting and spanking I've read so far. Physical punishment might be an easy fix, but causes greater problems in the long run. hopefully that is starting to change...
My sense is that it has changed. I think the threat of spanking, holding that over the child's head is what was behavior changing. Parents used to spend less time with their kids, and spanking was a threat and a "quick fix." - "Children are to be seen but not heard" is something that was frequently said in our household.
I thought my touching trees as I walk was a personal Gaia experience…..so cool to read here that others do that too.
🌲 ✨
The shift is definitely on, and lizard-brain males are terrified. The Ken dance-and-song sequence was even better at the Academy Awards.
Ah yes, we go into our 🦎 brains when we are being exposed to ideas outside of our imaginations that make us feel unsafe. Happens when you have grown up with out many viewpoints. But I’ve seen it happen even with open minded folks.
Yes. We go in to our lizard brain when we are scared and feeling unsafe. It happens when you have not been exposed to different viewpoints growing up. But I’ve seen it happen even with open-minded, progressive people.
Congratulations on your award. I look forward to reading your memoir. Having just published one, I'll tell you, it's a riveting journey you're about to take. Peace and balance to you.
Oh dang, wow, congrats! How long did it take you just to finish writing/revising? I'm on... year 4? And with no end in sight, ha!
Great post Summer! Love your style! Also love the hair ✨
Haha, thanks PP!
Also, to answer your question, I find exercise, silence and nature to be my best friend in times of massive planetary transitions. Cutting out as much distractions as possible— as often as possible. The vibrations in the body can cause intense mental stimulation when we’re trying to sleep or focus on a simple task. We are the you-inverse, we forget sometimes. I feel it’s super important to know what the mind is choosing to dig into and redirect its focus as needed, the body will follow. I have a recipe coming out that targets these imbalances as well!
Heck to the yes! And that’s what makes this whole situation so complex with all the spring extroverted energy when really we just want to reground & be still to experience at all. Looking forward to your post!
Absolutely! Thank you so much!! As within so without 🙏🏽✨
Well I'm an astrologer so I most definitley notice the shifts. It's my business to listen to creation... including the human part. As for coping with the amount of raw energy moving through the collective about now, I feel like the best thing - at least for me, is to spend as much time as possible outside. Fortunately it's Spring and the days are long and the garden is calling. So back outside I go. The eclipse and Mercury's retrograde energies seems softer out there. The backlog of emails and work can wait a few hours.
Oh yes, I agree with you so much!!!!!!
Yes! I’m always glad to read that men are sick of the patriarchy, too! Masculinity is utterly dehumanizing. Thank you for writing this!
Thanks for reading, doc!
first, happy sun spin to you dad! may the celebrations be joyous.
second, congratulations on receiving the grant!!! may the opportunity it offers allow the gift of your wisdom to be expanded.
and yes, lots of shifting going on around here. and i love what you noted: "we’re still all little humans inside, for the most part." unfortunately, many adults haven't figured out how to care for the wee human inside with hugs.
i do agree there is a cultural shift. and damn it, marketing and capitalism has caught the $$$making scent and is trying to expand there too. so these will be interesting times...
Haha true. We all have to do capitalism even tho we don’t like it. I struggle there, too! Can i just do art? As a mom of a Neurodivergent kid and teacher and artist most of what I do is for free. But times are so expensive so even artists are finally asking to be paid, but to do that we have to market. Gratefully, there are still organizations that appreciate art, and put their money where their mouth is like foundation that awarded me the grant. You know it’s kind of rad in that way. Juneau is one of the top 10 cities in the US for arts just based upon the money spent in the arts per capita. ❤️
yes to being appreciated✨✨✨
and we do dwell in this both/and shifting world, doing/being our best. 🧡
I love this, and love to know of fellow Alaskan women exploring these issues--and how patriarchy hurts men as well as women, how embedded they are in so many traditions and the institutions and ways that have been ingrained in us. And to demand something different. Congrats on the grant, that's fantastic your words will be out in the world. 💜
Yes to everything you said! Thank you, Freya! 💕
First time I had read you!! Won't be the last!! ❤️
Thanks, Sue!
Love every word!
Thanks so much, John!