You summed up so well my perception of American society. I often wonder if that perception is skewed because I haven't lived there much, my parents moved to Europe in 1969 and I've lived there ever since, except for an 18-month post-doc stint in the states in the late 1980s. It seems to me that most Europeans do know how to slow down and enjoy life (5-6 weeks paid vacation, for starters!).
My initial compass word (great name for it, by the way!) for 2024 was "discernment" in relation to choosing to focus on what's meaningful to my authentic self.
The word has morphed now into "serenity" - when I'm connected to my true self, I can be serene about the choices I make. The word also reminds me of "the serenity prayer". I'm not at all religious so I don't remember it by heart. I like how it very succinctly evokes the wisdom of knowing when to act and when to let go.
I love all those words! Discernment, serenity, serenity prayer... and yes, I totes agree with you about Europeans knowing how to slow down more and seek pleasure for the sake of pleasure, and community. A bit less individualistic than Americans, me thinks.
My compass word is pause or wait. Before responding to perceived oppositional statements from others, pause so they can complete their thoughts. Interrupting is rude and disrespectful and there is value in hearing all of someone’s statement before responding.
Love the idea of a compass word! Mine is Healthy. I’ll try and use it like a compass as long as I can. Is (this thing) healthy for me? Is (alternate thing) healthier?
By the way, “less” of one thing is “more” of another! More time to rest, to spend in nature, to connect, etc. Not always easy to get our children’s buy-in, is it? “Kids were going on a long hike today instead of screentime.” 🤷♀️ Sometimes I get lucky. 😆
Yes...for me it contains within it relaxation, centering, grounding, hearing my deeper voice below the monkey mind, reaching an inner stillness that is sweet amidst a very fast and loud world around me
Thanks for encouraging thoughtfulness on this subject! Being at ease with less is a radical act, if coming from a mainstream American culture. And affirming (and re-affirming) for ourselves that we have enough -- it redefines expectations and rewrites how we can feel in our bodies, if we let it really sink deep.
I have found so much freedom in my own life from learning more about what it means to have enough, and like you -- the inspiration often comes from OUTSIDE mainstream American culture. The diversity of human experience is a great teacher. We can live fulfilled lives with less (than what we've been sold).
Convincing my older daughter to see things that way though, when most of her friends in 5th grade believe that it's all about having more -- that takes serious presence indeed.
Omg 💯!!!! my 6th grader is such a little capitalist. He’s like mom you should work more and harder and become the CEO of Amazon so we can buy 10 houses and boats and I can have all the latest bling bling! Bruhhhhhh ! Guess he’ll just have to figure it out over the long road. He probably thinks that time is limitless. 🤷♀️
“Purge” was my compass word for 2023- as in “the year of the purge” for a lot of the reasons you talk about here. And yes! it was as dramatic as it sounds lol.
I’ve got a list for 2024 I’m trying to whittle down that I guess continue that work of paring things all the way down while also rebuilding. To be continued but thank you so much for sharing this! This has been an extra sad, gloomy season for me and it’s helpful to read and relate to others.
This resonated with me on so many levels! I also smiled at the mention of your husband’s annoyance with “What do you do?” Or “What is it that you do?”
I’ve secretly hated our posing of this question as a societal norm. I think it’s inhumane to measure someone’s inherent value by how they make ends meet.
The only real exception is that you seem to blame abstract forces for the choices people make. The great thing about the Euro-American culture that predominates in the US is that you get to choose the lifestyle you want to follow; you just have to be willing to accept the consequences of your choices.
The views that you express are as much a part of our culture as the desire to work hard to provide more for you family. Consider for example, Thoreau, Whitman, the Harmony Society, the Beats, hippies, New Age enthusiasts, intentional lifestyles, etc. All of these have been a part of our culture, even if they are not what many Americans, especially immigrants, strive for.
So good to read from another like minded soul. I used to use the word of the year but I like your name for it so much more. I thought I'll just continue with my last year's one which was "play" but since I kept forgetting about it it seems to me I still need it :)
Thank you for this. Much wisdom in your essay--wish I had been so wise at your age! I am now off to ponder my 2024 compass word. As for you, please keep writing!!
It sounds like we have much in common! I will often walk with one word for a month or more. December’s was “perspective.” I’m taking it into 2024. But another relevant one that I like, inspired by adrienne marie brown’s “Pleasure Activism,” is “satisfiable.” When we can be satisfied by simple things, we can’t be co-opted by larger forces, who often do not have our best interests in mind. Embracing enough-ness, in brown’s view, becomes not only an act of critique but of active resistance.
I do think that as parents who have already been to the buffet, we may have a different sense of this than our children who have just arrived, and so perhaps this is where perspective can also help to bridge the gap between their experience of enough and ours. Perhaps just modeling what it means to be “satisfiable,” rather than telling another what “should” satisfy, is a more powerful teaching move. Still exploring that one for myself with my son as well!
You summed up so well my perception of American society. I often wonder if that perception is skewed because I haven't lived there much, my parents moved to Europe in 1969 and I've lived there ever since, except for an 18-month post-doc stint in the states in the late 1980s. It seems to me that most Europeans do know how to slow down and enjoy life (5-6 weeks paid vacation, for starters!).
My initial compass word (great name for it, by the way!) for 2024 was "discernment" in relation to choosing to focus on what's meaningful to my authentic self.
The word has morphed now into "serenity" - when I'm connected to my true self, I can be serene about the choices I make. The word also reminds me of "the serenity prayer". I'm not at all religious so I don't remember it by heart. I like how it very succinctly evokes the wisdom of knowing when to act and when to let go.
I love all those words! Discernment, serenity, serenity prayer... and yes, I totes agree with you about Europeans knowing how to slow down more and seek pleasure for the sake of pleasure, and community. A bit less individualistic than Americans, me thinks.
My compass word is pause or wait. Before responding to perceived oppositional statements from others, pause so they can complete their thoughts. Interrupting is rude and disrespectful and there is value in hearing all of someone’s statement before responding.
I love that, Mike!
Love the idea of a compass word! Mine is Healthy. I’ll try and use it like a compass as long as I can. Is (this thing) healthy for me? Is (alternate thing) healthier?
By the way, “less” of one thing is “more” of another! More time to rest, to spend in nature, to connect, etc. Not always easy to get our children’s buy-in, is it? “Kids were going on a long hike today instead of screentime.” 🤷♀️ Sometimes I get lucky. 😆
Exactly. I love the reframing!
My compass word is "breathe" ...
Such a perfect word. It can mean so much!
Yes...for me it contains within it relaxation, centering, grounding, hearing my deeper voice below the monkey mind, reaching an inner stillness that is sweet amidst a very fast and loud world around me
And so it may be! ✨ borrowing that!
Thanks for encouraging thoughtfulness on this subject! Being at ease with less is a radical act, if coming from a mainstream American culture. And affirming (and re-affirming) for ourselves that we have enough -- it redefines expectations and rewrites how we can feel in our bodies, if we let it really sink deep.
I have found so much freedom in my own life from learning more about what it means to have enough, and like you -- the inspiration often comes from OUTSIDE mainstream American culture. The diversity of human experience is a great teacher. We can live fulfilled lives with less (than what we've been sold).
Convincing my older daughter to see things that way though, when most of her friends in 5th grade believe that it's all about having more -- that takes serious presence indeed.
Take care
Omg 💯!!!! my 6th grader is such a little capitalist. He’s like mom you should work more and harder and become the CEO of Amazon so we can buy 10 houses and boats and I can have all the latest bling bling! Bruhhhhhh ! Guess he’ll just have to figure it out over the long road. He probably thinks that time is limitless. 🤷♀️
“Purge” was my compass word for 2023- as in “the year of the purge” for a lot of the reasons you talk about here. And yes! it was as dramatic as it sounds lol.
I’ve got a list for 2024 I’m trying to whittle down that I guess continue that work of paring things all the way down while also rebuilding. To be continued but thank you so much for sharing this! This has been an extra sad, gloomy season for me and it’s helpful to read and relate to others.
I'm sorry to hear, and I feel you on that, too. Purge is good. Purge on, lady!
This resonated with me on so many levels! I also smiled at the mention of your husband’s annoyance with “What do you do?” Or “What is it that you do?”
I’ve secretly hated our posing of this question as a societal norm. I think it’s inhumane to measure someone’s inherent value by how they make ends meet.
Right?!
Summer, hi! I agree with much of what you say.
The only real exception is that you seem to blame abstract forces for the choices people make. The great thing about the Euro-American culture that predominates in the US is that you get to choose the lifestyle you want to follow; you just have to be willing to accept the consequences of your choices.
The views that you express are as much a part of our culture as the desire to work hard to provide more for you family. Consider for example, Thoreau, Whitman, the Harmony Society, the Beats, hippies, New Age enthusiasts, intentional lifestyles, etc. All of these have been a part of our culture, even if they are not what many Americans, especially immigrants, strive for.
So good to read from another like minded soul. I used to use the word of the year but I like your name for it so much more. I thought I'll just continue with my last year's one which was "play" but since I kept forgetting about it it seems to me I still need it :)
Play! I want that, too!
Feels good doesn't it 💖
Mine is peace, it aligns quite nicely with less I think :)
PEACE. Love it. Amen!
Enoughness, slowly.
Slowly, yessss ✨
I’m also going to copy the Thich Nhat Hahn quote and hang it over my kitchen sink!
Hahahaha good idea!
Thank you for this. Much wisdom in your essay--wish I had been so wise at your age! I am now off to ponder my 2024 compass word. As for you, please keep writing!!
Wow thank you Judy! I am honored & humbled! Let me know if you think of a compass word. Hope your 2024 is magical!
ENOUGHNESS is a peculiar word and appropriately what is missing in this throttled Universe …
there are not enough of us who can
determine what enough looks like..
if there were “ enough” of us who knew what that looked like we wouldn’t be chasing our tale only to realize it won’t ever be caught..
the overlords of our financial universe have never known what the word “enough” looks like..
when only the AI’s of the globe are left remaining on the Universe and there is nothing remaining..
we will have wished we understood the concept of “seeding the ground we stand on” ..
thank You for sharing ENOUGHNESS
with us who are on the ground where the magic happens every day
That's beautiful. Thank you from one ground-seeder, magic watcher to another <3
thank You Summer
Compassion
That’s a great one ☝️
My 2024 phrase is “tENDand befriend” --- allow some things to end so i can tend and befriend what’s most important to me.
As in what I too can let go of in order to befriend more of…
Exactly!
That’s great! I’ll definitely have to think more on that one…
It sounds like we have much in common! I will often walk with one word for a month or more. December’s was “perspective.” I’m taking it into 2024. But another relevant one that I like, inspired by adrienne marie brown’s “Pleasure Activism,” is “satisfiable.” When we can be satisfied by simple things, we can’t be co-opted by larger forces, who often do not have our best interests in mind. Embracing enough-ness, in brown’s view, becomes not only an act of critique but of active resistance.
I do think that as parents who have already been to the buffet, we may have a different sense of this than our children who have just arrived, and so perhaps this is where perspective can also help to bridge the gap between their experience of enough and ours. Perhaps just modeling what it means to be “satisfiable,” rather than telling another what “should” satisfy, is a more powerful teaching move. Still exploring that one for myself with my son as well!
I love that. Thank you for your comment!