I appreciate the micro lending that some nonprofits have adopted. Their research shows that when they lend to men, the men developed individual businesses and often spent their money outside the community. When they lend to women, the woman work collectively and spend the money within and for the benefit of their communities.
Yes! Thank you for pointing this out! It really speaks volumes to the different gendered behaviors, and a great example of the collective-oriented vs. individualistic.
I wasn't aware of De Baere's work so appreciate your bringing it to my attention---especially as I continue to research and write about the importance of women giving ourselves permission to take over the narratives of our lives. Great piece!
At this point I'm not sure I even believe in feminism anymore. Time after time, or rather, wave after wave, has tried to overhaul the patriarchy instead of chucking the whole system and starting fresh. Isn't it time for women to stop defining success as being more like men? We need to start socializing boys to be pleasers (especially in school) like we do girls. I'll probably get some push back over a statement like that, but I'm not talking about pleasing others at the expense of ourselves.
Being a "people pleaser" has become a this terrible flaw that needs fixing by adapting a "my needs over yours no matter what" attitude. Since when did it become all or nothing? What's so wrong with teaching boys and men to put their own needs aside, SOMETIMES, for the well being of others? It's called compromise. It's learning to appreciate what you have instead of always wanting more because that "more" is often at the expense of someone else.
I am a lifelong people pleaser. I finally have just about learned to say no, just so I will not be used. I will help if I can but not if I am expected to in order to make someone else’s life easier.
You are a man and a people pleaser, and many women can be narcissists. You and them are the exceptions to the norm, of course. And neither are okay. We need to strike a balance. I'm glad you're learning healthy boundaries finally, Robert... as am I!
i am way behind in reading my "stacks," but always make time for yours. always learn something new and leave with something to ponder. thank you Summer! and i hope you are finding time to care for you!
Summer - Your timing is impeccable. This paragraph in this essay at this moment is spot on with the current. Venus, the goddess, just moved into her home sign of Libra. Here she speaks to the values of justice, harmony, balance, beauty, relationships etc. Tomorrow, Pluto, lord of the underworld, and associated with power and the processes of transformation (ie death and rebirth) returns to Capricorn for one last stint of a few months before moving to Aquarius for the next 20 years (it’s been in and out a couple times now, giving us a taste of the Pluto in Aquarius energy). Capricorn is the sign associated with hierarchical institutions, government, banking etc whereas Aquarius is the sign of the collective, favoring humanitarian values over patriarchal. This last bit of Pluto in Capricorn spans the election here though so the old guard will be making its stand as well. It’s not likely to be smooth sailing no matter how we dice it, but this is the moment we’re in and that many of us have been waiting for. It’s a time when we have leverage where it didn’t exist before.
In any case, you’re clearly sensing the moment. I have a Substack where I’ve written about all of these things if anyone is interested in reading about it.
Thank you always Summer for amazing, thoughtful work.
Perhaps it’s sentimental or nostalgic, but the model of masculinity I was miraculously exposed to valued protection of women and children, and providing with abundance enough to grow wealth and share. Hard to imagine anything more manly than that. Old school masculinity seems to share some space in the Venn diagram of models of feminine social values described in this piece. 1960 Boomer crushing on Tim Walz.
Thanks Summer, informative and interesting as always. I strongly believe we are headed in the direction of matriarchy and my hope is that at 71 I live long enough to see it fully implemented and the fruits realized.
I would say collectivist and matriarchal, for sure! Although the women did stay home and gather, weave, cook, tend to kids etc. while men went out and hunted. Lily Hope explained it this way: In Tlingit culture, the women and elders were in the middle, facing in toward the children, and the men surrounded the women on the outside of the circle, facing out. And the cultures were all about reciprocity. And no one really owned anything. Everything was shared, "borrowed" by the clan.
This is such a powerful and timely discussion! Female leadership often brings a more inclusive and empathetic approach, which aligns well with the growing emphasis on collective well-being and collaboration. As we move into a more collectivist era, it’s exciting to see how diverse leadership styles can foster environments where everyone feels valued and heard.
For everyone here, how do you think female leadership is shaping this shift toward collectivism? Have you experienced or witnessed leadership that prioritizes collective goals over individual gains? Let’s share examples and insights on how we can continue to support this positive change!
I love this comment and I'm sorry I'm just now seeing it! I can offer one example, how grants to women-owned businesses in Africa are rebuilding communities. They found that when money is invested in women, the money returns to the community more than when invested in men. For example, CAMFED, African Women's Entrepreneurship Program (AWEP), the Tony Elumelu Foundation's Women Entrepreneurship for Africa program, the Visa She's Next initiative supporting the African Women Impact Fund, and programs from organizations like Women In Africa (WIA).
Love this piece. As I was reading I couldn’t help stopping to think every time I read the word “individualism”. I realize now that it’s because this word has had a confusing meaning to me in the past. A family member (my step father) once described me as “individualistic”. It was a response to one of those chain emails that asked to “describe me in a word or two”. He replied individualistic (and magnetic).
From then on the descriptive word, “individualistic” really stuck with me. I couldn’t really figure out what he meant by that. I always felt like it had a negative connotation. After reading through your writing, it dawned on me that the reason it felt slightly insulting to me was because , I don’t really see myself in that light. As being individualistic per se. I am very much a giver and community rooted feeler. At least that’s how I relate to myself. But what I am coming to realize is that I think what my father saw as being individualistic was actually me just being divergent from his way of thinking, perhaps magnified because I’m a woman. He and I often don’t see eye to eye on matters of politics and societal agreements, but could always come to terms and have peace with each other in the end. in any case thank you for helping me come to this realization…
It’s interesting when you learn to see things (sometimes yourself) in a new light. I’ve been anticipating the dawning of this age for a long time.
First, I'm sorry I'm just now seeing this comment!
Second, when I found out I was a 4 on Enneagram, which is INDIVIDUALIST, I was sad! I mean, individualism is a bad word now, IMO, because of all the things you and I mention above. But, when individualism IS the way, and when everyone swerves left we swerve right, then maybe we are individualists and also not, lol! Because I'm also a proud individualist, which is why I broke from the mold. And being unique is not the same as being only self-serving, I think.
What a fine analysis and resulting essay, Summer. There may be a typo in your stated rates. If not I’ll choose $4 for an annual subscription! And no, I’m not a knucklehead (usually). I won’t litigate to force adherence to the stated rate. Life is short.
Haha! You’re probably right there probably is a typo . I will look into it! If I did not explicitly state it, I meant that the annual subscription is about four dollars a month when you pay for the year upfront. And thank you for your kind comment!
I must ask about your line that ‘Kamala Harris VPOTUS was CHOSEN to run for President.’
Who exactly chose her to run? She has never received a single electoral vote. She reeks of back room big league politics. Biden, whom she recently described, along with most other progressives, as being “sharp as a tack” was removed as President by “some people”. Who exactly? No one knows. He is STILL the President. Or IS he? No one knows.
Yes, it may be time for a strong centrist decisive American woman to be President one day soon. That person in my studied opinion is not Kamala Harris. But I believe she will be elected. Then what?
I would—and one day hope to vote for a woman President—Tulsi Gabbard comes to mind. Where is America’s Margaret Thatcher, Indira Ghandi, Golda Meier, or Madame Chaing Kai-Shek? It surely is not Harris.
Very nicely laid out and thought provoking article, except for that one line about her being “chosen”. Picked? Foisted upon? Selected? We’ll find out in 67 days.
I know that. I was unclear. When she was running against Biden and calling him a racist in the 2020 debates and dropped out before the Iowa Caucus she had a 2 percent following and had she not dropped out and for some unfathomable reason wound up as his VP (actually he needed a black female and said as much, qualifications be dammed) she would not have received a single electoral vote. She would be a footnote in history instead of a Progressive darling.
Gotcha. Yeah, pretty much the story of every American VP candidate. Find someone who complements the leader to shore up the base, or at least someone who doesn't steal the scene.
I just love the topics you focus on in your Substack, Summer!
Thank you, Melisse!
I appreciate the micro lending that some nonprofits have adopted. Their research shows that when they lend to men, the men developed individual businesses and often spent their money outside the community. When they lend to women, the woman work collectively and spend the money within and for the benefit of their communities.
Yes! Thank you for pointing this out! It really speaks volumes to the different gendered behaviors, and a great example of the collective-oriented vs. individualistic.
I wasn't aware of De Baere's work so appreciate your bringing it to my attention---especially as I continue to research and write about the importance of women giving ourselves permission to take over the narratives of our lives. Great piece!
Thank you!!!
At this point I'm not sure I even believe in feminism anymore. Time after time, or rather, wave after wave, has tried to overhaul the patriarchy instead of chucking the whole system and starting fresh. Isn't it time for women to stop defining success as being more like men? We need to start socializing boys to be pleasers (especially in school) like we do girls. I'll probably get some push back over a statement like that, but I'm not talking about pleasing others at the expense of ourselves.
Being a "people pleaser" has become a this terrible flaw that needs fixing by adapting a "my needs over yours no matter what" attitude. Since when did it become all or nothing? What's so wrong with teaching boys and men to put their own needs aside, SOMETIMES, for the well being of others? It's called compromise. It's learning to appreciate what you have instead of always wanting more because that "more" is often at the expense of someone else.
THIS!
I am a lifelong people pleaser. I finally have just about learned to say no, just so I will not be used. I will help if I can but not if I am expected to in order to make someone else’s life easier.
You are a man and a people pleaser, and many women can be narcissists. You and them are the exceptions to the norm, of course. And neither are okay. We need to strike a balance. I'm glad you're learning healthy boundaries finally, Robert... as am I!
i am way behind in reading my "stacks," but always make time for yours. always learn something new and leave with something to ponder. thank you Summer! and i hope you are finding time to care for you!
Thank you, Anne! Trying! Mostly failing… lol
Summer - Your timing is impeccable. This paragraph in this essay at this moment is spot on with the current. Venus, the goddess, just moved into her home sign of Libra. Here she speaks to the values of justice, harmony, balance, beauty, relationships etc. Tomorrow, Pluto, lord of the underworld, and associated with power and the processes of transformation (ie death and rebirth) returns to Capricorn for one last stint of a few months before moving to Aquarius for the next 20 years (it’s been in and out a couple times now, giving us a taste of the Pluto in Aquarius energy). Capricorn is the sign associated with hierarchical institutions, government, banking etc whereas Aquarius is the sign of the collective, favoring humanitarian values over patriarchal. This last bit of Pluto in Capricorn spans the election here though so the old guard will be making its stand as well. It’s not likely to be smooth sailing no matter how we dice it, but this is the moment we’re in and that many of us have been waiting for. It’s a time when we have leverage where it didn’t exist before.
In any case, you’re clearly sensing the moment. I have a Substack where I’ve written about all of these things if anyone is interested in reading about it.
Wow, Camille, this is fascinating! I need to go read your stack now! thank you!
Thank you always Summer for amazing, thoughtful work.
Perhaps it’s sentimental or nostalgic, but the model of masculinity I was miraculously exposed to valued protection of women and children, and providing with abundance enough to grow wealth and share. Hard to imagine anything more manly than that. Old school masculinity seems to share some space in the Venn diagram of models of feminine social values described in this piece. 1960 Boomer crushing on Tim Walz.
100% yes!!!!
Thanks Summer, informative and interesting as always. I strongly believe we are headed in the direction of matriarchy and my hope is that at 71 I live long enough to see it fully implemented and the fruits realized.
Thank you, Mike!!!
It is uplifting to consider the world we could have with the collectivist, matriarchal model.
Where do you think the Tlingit culture fits on that spectrum?
I would say collectivist and matriarchal, for sure! Although the women did stay home and gather, weave, cook, tend to kids etc. while men went out and hunted. Lily Hope explained it this way: In Tlingit culture, the women and elders were in the middle, facing in toward the children, and the men surrounded the women on the outside of the circle, facing out. And the cultures were all about reciprocity. And no one really owned anything. Everything was shared, "borrowed" by the clan.
Music to the ear!
Thank you, Cecelia!!!
Informative
Thank you, Emilio!
You're welcome always God bless you and your family forever
Thank you! and yours as well
You're welcome always
This is such a powerful and timely discussion! Female leadership often brings a more inclusive and empathetic approach, which aligns well with the growing emphasis on collective well-being and collaboration. As we move into a more collectivist era, it’s exciting to see how diverse leadership styles can foster environments where everyone feels valued and heard.
For everyone here, how do you think female leadership is shaping this shift toward collectivism? Have you experienced or witnessed leadership that prioritizes collective goals over individual gains? Let’s share examples and insights on how we can continue to support this positive change!
I love this comment and I'm sorry I'm just now seeing it! I can offer one example, how grants to women-owned businesses in Africa are rebuilding communities. They found that when money is invested in women, the money returns to the community more than when invested in men. For example, CAMFED, African Women's Entrepreneurship Program (AWEP), the Tony Elumelu Foundation's Women Entrepreneurship for Africa program, the Visa She's Next initiative supporting the African Women Impact Fund, and programs from organizations like Women In Africa (WIA).
Love this piece. As I was reading I couldn’t help stopping to think every time I read the word “individualism”. I realize now that it’s because this word has had a confusing meaning to me in the past. A family member (my step father) once described me as “individualistic”. It was a response to one of those chain emails that asked to “describe me in a word or two”. He replied individualistic (and magnetic).
From then on the descriptive word, “individualistic” really stuck with me. I couldn’t really figure out what he meant by that. I always felt like it had a negative connotation. After reading through your writing, it dawned on me that the reason it felt slightly insulting to me was because , I don’t really see myself in that light. As being individualistic per se. I am very much a giver and community rooted feeler. At least that’s how I relate to myself. But what I am coming to realize is that I think what my father saw as being individualistic was actually me just being divergent from his way of thinking, perhaps magnified because I’m a woman. He and I often don’t see eye to eye on matters of politics and societal agreements, but could always come to terms and have peace with each other in the end. in any case thank you for helping me come to this realization…
It’s interesting when you learn to see things (sometimes yourself) in a new light. I’ve been anticipating the dawning of this age for a long time.
I WANT TO WRITE A WHOLE PIECE ABOUT THIS!!!!
First, I'm sorry I'm just now seeing this comment!
Second, when I found out I was a 4 on Enneagram, which is INDIVIDUALIST, I was sad! I mean, individualism is a bad word now, IMO, because of all the things you and I mention above. But, when individualism IS the way, and when everyone swerves left we swerve right, then maybe we are individualists and also not, lol! Because I'm also a proud individualist, which is why I broke from the mold. And being unique is not the same as being only self-serving, I think.
What a fine analysis and resulting essay, Summer. There may be a typo in your stated rates. If not I’ll choose $4 for an annual subscription! And no, I’m not a knucklehead (usually). I won’t litigate to force adherence to the stated rate. Life is short.
Haha! You’re probably right there probably is a typo . I will look into it! If I did not explicitly state it, I meant that the annual subscription is about four dollars a month when you pay for the year upfront. And thank you for your kind comment!
Absolutely yes to all of this. Fantastic article!
Thank you!!!
I must ask about your line that ‘Kamala Harris VPOTUS was CHOSEN to run for President.’
Who exactly chose her to run? She has never received a single electoral vote. She reeks of back room big league politics. Biden, whom she recently described, along with most other progressives, as being “sharp as a tack” was removed as President by “some people”. Who exactly? No one knows. He is STILL the President. Or IS he? No one knows.
Yes, it may be time for a strong centrist decisive American woman to be President one day soon. That person in my studied opinion is not Kamala Harris. But I believe she will be elected. Then what?
I would—and one day hope to vote for a woman President—Tulsi Gabbard comes to mind. Where is America’s Margaret Thatcher, Indira Ghandi, Golda Meier, or Madame Chaing Kai-Shek? It surely is not Harris.
Very nicely laid out and thought provoking article, except for that one line about her being “chosen”. Picked? Foisted upon? Selected? We’ll find out in 67 days.
I hear you on that. I believe the DNC chose Harris. That what they tell me!
The delegates choose the candidate. It has nothing to do with the Electoral College. That's for the actual election.
I know that. I was unclear. When she was running against Biden and calling him a racist in the 2020 debates and dropped out before the Iowa Caucus she had a 2 percent following and had she not dropped out and for some unfathomable reason wound up as his VP (actually he needed a black female and said as much, qualifications be dammed) she would not have received a single electoral vote. She would be a footnote in history instead of a Progressive darling.
Gotcha. Yeah, pretty much the story of every American VP candidate. Find someone who complements the leader to shore up the base, or at least someone who doesn't steal the scene.