My inner navigation system always asks the question- what about this can I control? And then I listen for the answer. I use that to help me move through the world. I don't pick up what isn't mine and always always look for the helpers. From the school of Mr. Rogers ♥️ If I can't find helpers, then I become one. If I can help the helpers then I do.
When I start to feel like I'm drowning in uncertainty and fear, I turn to service - how can I be of service. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't and I just give in to the fear and tire myself out. Balance is tricky 😍
I love this, Mesa. Often I try to be of service as a Resistance to experiencing the helplessness of despair. I like your idea of seeing what is actually under my "control," what does "doing my part" look like, so I can see the outer boundaries of that and let go of the rest. I have a pretty mug designed by a friend that reads, "Relax, nothing is under control."
Sounds a lot like the bodhisattva way, Mesa. One of the best decisions I ever made as a spiritual practitioner struggling with the world was to offer myself up to hospice care, volunteering myself to sit with the dying in exchange for the training received from the hospices themselves, who are mostly required to train and utilize volunteers. His Holiness the Dalai Lama says all of our practices are preparation for dying, and so hospice is kind of like the modern version of the charnel grounds! Only much more loving, alive, and joyous. Dying people are real - no pretense. Like that woman Summer mentions who decides to live each day as if it were her first, rather than her last! Which strangely resonated with my having just watched "Small Things" ("Why do people not just do this all the time?")
The most insidious idea to come out of the Reagan-era think tanks was to dumb down our school system, eliminate liberal arts programs by flooding Universities with corporate cash, and get rid of music and arts. All so Americans would be easier to control. Oh, and they thought it was a good idea to eliminate the requirement that every kid take a course in Civics as a condition of graduating so we would know how our government works. Look at the result of all that dumbing down! But they got their masses of mindless consumers, and let the algorithms do the rest. I was hopeful Biden would do a lot more for education than he has, with his wife being a school teacher and all. May be time for you to consider another move? There are places where education and kids are still valued, like Duluth, MN for e.g., where my close friends moved to for that very reason. Sucks, though, to even have to consider such a thing.
That's great to hear that the ed system in MN is better. I'm hearing pretty terrible things across the country in regard to education. Sometimes I dream about moving to Canada, or a Scandinavian country...
Staying in the slack tide is a beautiful analogy. I've boated on the ocean and I know just how peaceful that feeling can be. We are being bombarded with so much these days. We need to seek and treasure our slack tides.
Borrowing from the Dead Dog Cafe here: "Stay Calm, Be Brave, and Wait for the Signs". I don't know if this is useful, but I've always liked that slogan.
DDC and every single component/person/dialogue/coyote-canny quote within its magical mirror is SUCH A BREATH OF UNPOLLUTED FREAKISH AIR that, ( IMHO ), this radio-riff machine should be mandatory listening for every descendant-of-colonists-non-indigenous person in the World.
I guess that amounts to about 93% or more of the Global census…
Thanks for the humour and the Truth you nutty freaks… how do you possibly find the strength to STAND yourselves. Well done. Well played. “We can be heroes, for ever and ever…” Your worst dialectical enthusiast … Jeffrey
Once when leaving a retreat, getting gas, I saw a sign behind the teller as I was standing in line: "The busier it gets, the slower I go." My motto ever since! There is always time to be more mindful, I think. As Thomas Hubl says, when we slow our minds down, truth has a chance to emerge.
So many of the traditions I have studied and work to embody talk about being in the present moment, which feels similar to what you call the "slack tide." Whether it is the Serenity Prayer from the 12-step programs or the notion that sometimes the only thing we have control over is our breath, our attitude and how we respond to the moment. One tradition says that the ability to "be still in the midst of chaos" will open a pathway to get through the challenging events that confront us. Thanks for sharing once again!
That stillness also feels like slack tide to me! And yes, Pema also talks about being present and one of the 11 (I think 11?) steps in welcoming the unwelcome.
My first exposure to Pema Chödrön was in a weekly teaching for Buddhist disciples. She seemed wise, calm, humorous, and serious in proportion to the subject of her teaching. I bought her “Comfortable With Uncertainty” for my own learning of Buddhist practices. In that book she calmly addressed becoming comfortable with our own life’s ending. Not trying to guess when or how. Just level headed acceptance of that universal truth. WE ALL DIE! Her corollary statement was that until we become comfortable with our own passing, all the niggling stressors in our daily living will hit us like Big Deals. Something so fundamentally true required no struggle to accept as a Truth for my life. That has been a guiding light for my life for nearly 15 years now.
Oh wow, that is exactly what I've been trying to pin down! I should have read that first. I agree whole-heartedly. It wasn't until I thought I'd die and I started celebrating Dia de Muertos with my students and kids that I became more comfortable with the idea of death, which definitely chilled me out in other ways, too. It's so true what you say.
I vibed with everything you put down here. I too am working on detaching from the material and my own expectations. I’ve grown more okay with the people and things I’ve lost over the years, which feels like a good start. Slack tide sounds similar the go-with-the-flow concept of wu wei. It’s always back to the water, isn’t it?
Beautiful. Thanks Summer. A real balm after much horrid. Also part of a whirlwind journey of opening up my heart/antenna/listenership to the old real connections. On that note, too, thanks for that info on Possibility; validating, and valuing, my instinct. That was a good dose of something.
Thanks, Peter! I resist dumping a pile of doodoo on everyone, but at the same time, it needs to be said? No good ignoring the elephant in the room... Maybe encouragement that it's not just all in our heads.
People are sad about losing the teaching positions because they care about Life! People care about Life because they are here, living. In everything that happens I try to see the tether of tender care underneath, which is the river that flows through, connecting everything…
Thank you for being one of the bright lights in the descending darkness, Summer. I am sad to hear that the overide did not pass. I have felt so baffled, despairing, and defeated (to the point of paralysis at times) lately. But witnessing the rhythms of nature, remarkable as they still are (slack tide, who knew?) brings the grief up and out so I can chop wood/carry water and go to work and PRAY our world does not become The Road. Sending LOVE to you, sister.
Yes to everything you say, and thank you! I love that expression, The Road. Let's not be The Road, especially the road out of Juneau that they want to build, lol!
That was wonderful. What I come here for. Some of US are looking for those deeper "life hacks" (I love that phrase). On the one hand we see what we are looking at, and have to be realistic, it don't look great. But when we focus, on the real stuff for a little while, we can find solace and keep putting one foot in front of the other. You might enjoy this, it was me exploring the same territory. Thank you.
Hey sum love your writing just thought I’d let you know Pema is a “nun” not a monk. Men are monks and women are nuns and she’s a female! I did a 30 day retreat with her in Nova Scotia. She’s awesome!!
Wow Linda, that’s amazing u studied with her for 30 days?!!! I think I read somewhere on the Internet that she was a Buddhist monk… I guess I always thought that nuns were just Christian. Editing that now! Thank you! 😘
I ask myself a simple question when I am anxious about the future. If I am so good at predicting what is going to happen, why am I not a lottery winner?
Uncertainty, with a turn of emotional tone, can be converted to curiosity. Being curious is much easier for me to tolerate than dread.
What an interesting dynamic. I love your verbiage concerning “exhausted“. I frequently do the same. Thankfully, that’s not a hard state to achieve on the farm.
We certainly are weird critters. I have no problem relinquishing any thoughts about things I can do nothing about. That said, my stoicism in my current existence in this Third World outhouse is failing me. I’ve been spoiled and blessed to spend over 15 years in first world countries. I vacillate between guilt when I attempt blissful ignorance, madness when I don’t.
In the 80s and 90s I had great luck following the life habits laid out by Dr. Andrew Weil. I think that’s how you spell his last name. “Eight weeks to health and wellness” is well worth anyone’s time investment to read. Hang in there, Brother. This Adulting thing is often quite difficult. You certainly aren’t alone. 👊
Honestly, when I'm up against uncertainty, especially if it's a situation that is far beyond my capacity I just go for a really long run and make myself too exhausted to get wrapped up with whatever thought or situation has been leeching my energy. Exercise has always been one of my favorite tools to leverage against these things.
Another thing that I've practiced, and this may ruffle some feathers, is just giving up on the news, cold turkey. I found myself getting yanked into the news cycle every day and my faith in the political system, as well as a huge segment of my fellow Americans just tanked. My anxiety ratcheted itself up to the point where I just decided to get away from it all and concentrate on winning the more easily achievable victories within myself and my own small inner circle instead.
My inner navigation system always asks the question- what about this can I control? And then I listen for the answer. I use that to help me move through the world. I don't pick up what isn't mine and always always look for the helpers. From the school of Mr. Rogers ♥️ If I can't find helpers, then I become one. If I can help the helpers then I do.
When I start to feel like I'm drowning in uncertainty and fear, I turn to service - how can I be of service. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't and I just give in to the fear and tire myself out. Balance is tricky 😍
I love that saying. Thanks for the reminder. And focusing on what can you control, too, try not to sweat the rest. 😘
You're welcome! And thank YOU for the magic reminders. I turned away from it for so long, but I see it now, everywhere ✨😍
I love this, Mesa. Often I try to be of service as a Resistance to experiencing the helplessness of despair. I like your idea of seeing what is actually under my "control," what does "doing my part" look like, so I can see the outer boundaries of that and let go of the rest. I have a pretty mug designed by a friend that reads, "Relax, nothing is under control."
I love that "relax, nothing is under control" :)
This is good
Sounds a lot like the bodhisattva way, Mesa. One of the best decisions I ever made as a spiritual practitioner struggling with the world was to offer myself up to hospice care, volunteering myself to sit with the dying in exchange for the training received from the hospices themselves, who are mostly required to train and utilize volunteers. His Holiness the Dalai Lama says all of our practices are preparation for dying, and so hospice is kind of like the modern version of the charnel grounds! Only much more loving, alive, and joyous. Dying people are real - no pretense. Like that woman Summer mentions who decides to live each day as if it were her first, rather than her last! Which strangely resonated with my having just watched "Small Things" ("Why do people not just do this all the time?")
That's amazing! What a beautiful way to give back!!
Service is the only path
I agree 100% :)
I "smashed the heart" here. That smash is for the lost teachers, the lost time, the loss to kids because of one vote.
Thanks for your support, Jill!
The most insidious idea to come out of the Reagan-era think tanks was to dumb down our school system, eliminate liberal arts programs by flooding Universities with corporate cash, and get rid of music and arts. All so Americans would be easier to control. Oh, and they thought it was a good idea to eliminate the requirement that every kid take a course in Civics as a condition of graduating so we would know how our government works. Look at the result of all that dumbing down! But they got their masses of mindless consumers, and let the algorithms do the rest. I was hopeful Biden would do a lot more for education than he has, with his wife being a school teacher and all. May be time for you to consider another move? There are places where education and kids are still valued, like Duluth, MN for e.g., where my close friends moved to for that very reason. Sucks, though, to even have to consider such a thing.
That's great to hear that the ed system in MN is better. I'm hearing pretty terrible things across the country in regard to education. Sometimes I dream about moving to Canada, or a Scandinavian country...
Staying in the slack tide is a beautiful analogy. I've boated on the ocean and I know just how peaceful that feeling can be. We are being bombarded with so much these days. We need to seek and treasure our slack tides.
Ay ay, Captain!
Borrowing from the Dead Dog Cafe here: "Stay Calm, Be Brave, and Wait for the Signs". I don't know if this is useful, but I've always liked that slogan.
Yes! Once you start looking for signs, you see them everywhere. Quantum entanglement a.k.a. magic it’s real! ✨
DDC and every single component/person/dialogue/coyote-canny quote within its magical mirror is SUCH A BREATH OF UNPOLLUTED FREAKISH AIR that, ( IMHO ), this radio-riff machine should be mandatory listening for every descendant-of-colonists-non-indigenous person in the World.
I guess that amounts to about 93% or more of the Global census…
Thanks for the humour and the Truth you nutty freaks… how do you possibly find the strength to STAND yourselves. Well done. Well played. “We can be heroes, for ever and ever…” Your worst dialectical enthusiast … Jeffrey
Once when leaving a retreat, getting gas, I saw a sign behind the teller as I was standing in line: "The busier it gets, the slower I go." My motto ever since! There is always time to be more mindful, I think. As Thomas Hubl says, when we slow our minds down, truth has a chance to emerge.
💯 my compass word for this year was “less”! Im trying to slow down and simplify everything. Get rid of what I don’t need.
So many of the traditions I have studied and work to embody talk about being in the present moment, which feels similar to what you call the "slack tide." Whether it is the Serenity Prayer from the 12-step programs or the notion that sometimes the only thing we have control over is our breath, our attitude and how we respond to the moment. One tradition says that the ability to "be still in the midst of chaos" will open a pathway to get through the challenging events that confront us. Thanks for sharing once again!
That stillness also feels like slack tide to me! And yes, Pema also talks about being present and one of the 11 (I think 11?) steps in welcoming the unwelcome.
By one vote. Damn.
SOCLOSE! Almost stings even more. But a good sign that we’re close….
Sounds like Sen. Murkowski is close too. Finally.
My first exposure to Pema Chödrön was in a weekly teaching for Buddhist disciples. She seemed wise, calm, humorous, and serious in proportion to the subject of her teaching. I bought her “Comfortable With Uncertainty” for my own learning of Buddhist practices. In that book she calmly addressed becoming comfortable with our own life’s ending. Not trying to guess when or how. Just level headed acceptance of that universal truth. WE ALL DIE! Her corollary statement was that until we become comfortable with our own passing, all the niggling stressors in our daily living will hit us like Big Deals. Something so fundamentally true required no struggle to accept as a Truth for my life. That has been a guiding light for my life for nearly 15 years now.
Oh wow, that is exactly what I've been trying to pin down! I should have read that first. I agree whole-heartedly. It wasn't until I thought I'd die and I started celebrating Dia de Muertos with my students and kids that I became more comfortable with the idea of death, which definitely chilled me out in other ways, too. It's so true what you say.
I vibed with everything you put down here. I too am working on detaching from the material and my own expectations. I’ve grown more okay with the people and things I’ve lost over the years, which feels like a good start. Slack tide sounds similar the go-with-the-flow concept of wu wei. It’s always back to the water, isn’t it?
Haha, yes, the water! We are water, we come from water... makes sense. Xo
Beautiful. Thanks Summer. A real balm after much horrid. Also part of a whirlwind journey of opening up my heart/antenna/listenership to the old real connections. On that note, too, thanks for that info on Possibility; validating, and valuing, my instinct. That was a good dose of something.
Thanks, Peter! I resist dumping a pile of doodoo on everyone, but at the same time, it needs to be said? No good ignoring the elephant in the room... Maybe encouragement that it's not just all in our heads.
People are sad about losing the teaching positions because they care about Life! People care about Life because they are here, living. In everything that happens I try to see the tether of tender care underneath, which is the river that flows through, connecting everything…
Yes, Marika! love how you put it
Thank you for being one of the bright lights in the descending darkness, Summer. I am sad to hear that the overide did not pass. I have felt so baffled, despairing, and defeated (to the point of paralysis at times) lately. But witnessing the rhythms of nature, remarkable as they still are (slack tide, who knew?) brings the grief up and out so I can chop wood/carry water and go to work and PRAY our world does not become The Road. Sending LOVE to you, sister.
Yes to everything you say, and thank you! I love that expression, The Road. Let's not be The Road, especially the road out of Juneau that they want to build, lol!
That was wonderful. What I come here for. Some of US are looking for those deeper "life hacks" (I love that phrase). On the one hand we see what we are looking at, and have to be realistic, it don't look great. But when we focus, on the real stuff for a little while, we can find solace and keep putting one foot in front of the other. You might enjoy this, it was me exploring the same territory. Thank you.
https://cynthianeil.substack.com/p/feed-the-soul-starve-the-beast
Saving this to read later. Thank you, Cynthia!
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
That was lovely. Thanks, Cynthia!
Hey sum love your writing just thought I’d let you know Pema is a “nun” not a monk. Men are monks and women are nuns and she’s a female! I did a 30 day retreat with her in Nova Scotia. She’s awesome!!
Wow Linda, that’s amazing u studied with her for 30 days?!!! I think I read somewhere on the Internet that she was a Buddhist monk… I guess I always thought that nuns were just Christian. Editing that now! Thank you! 😘
PS I want to read that story, Linda !
this was beautiful, thank you
Thanks so much, Michelle. And thanks for sharing!
I ask myself a simple question when I am anxious about the future. If I am so good at predicting what is going to happen, why am I not a lottery winner?
Uncertainty, with a turn of emotional tone, can be converted to curiosity. Being curious is much easier for me to tolerate than dread.
Yep. Curiosity wins!
What an interesting dynamic. I love your verbiage concerning “exhausted“. I frequently do the same. Thankfully, that’s not a hard state to achieve on the farm.
We certainly are weird critters. I have no problem relinquishing any thoughts about things I can do nothing about. That said, my stoicism in my current existence in this Third World outhouse is failing me. I’ve been spoiled and blessed to spend over 15 years in first world countries. I vacillate between guilt when I attempt blissful ignorance, madness when I don’t.
In the 80s and 90s I had great luck following the life habits laid out by Dr. Andrew Weil. I think that’s how you spell his last name. “Eight weeks to health and wellness” is well worth anyone’s time investment to read. Hang in there, Brother. This Adulting thing is often quite difficult. You certainly aren’t alone. 👊
Honestly, when I'm up against uncertainty, especially if it's a situation that is far beyond my capacity I just go for a really long run and make myself too exhausted to get wrapped up with whatever thought or situation has been leeching my energy. Exercise has always been one of my favorite tools to leverage against these things.
Another thing that I've practiced, and this may ruffle some feathers, is just giving up on the news, cold turkey. I found myself getting yanked into the news cycle every day and my faith in the political system, as well as a huge segment of my fellow Americans just tanked. My anxiety ratcheted itself up to the point where I just decided to get away from it all and concentrate on winning the more easily achievable victories within myself and my own small inner circle instead.
I support both of those motions!