Those walls are losses in a sense and each loss reshapes us and the world around us. It turns what we’ve taken for granted into something sharp and undeniable. When we lose something we begin to see its true shape. Absence feels at first like a hollow ache or a gaping void, depending on the loss. In that emptiness, we start to understand what mattered. Loss doesn’t just take, it reveals. Like the frame around a painting, it sets the edges that make the picture clear.
What limits us often shows us what we value. A broken arm reminds us of the simple joy of reaching out, while a broken heart teaches us the depth of love we’re capable of. The walls we push against, the obstacles and boundaries we face, define what we’re willing to fight for. Losing something doesn’t just highlight its absence; it reminds us of what’s worth holding onto, what’s worth rebuilding.
Loss isn’t just an ending, it’s a way of learning to see differently. It strips away the blur of comfort and routine, forcing us to focus on what we truly need, what we truly want. In that negative space, we don’t just find grief; we find clarity, and with it, the chance to fill what’s missing with something meaningful.
I love these existential, philosophical pontifications! Yes, be like water, but water alone, without boundaries or walls, is just water. A river is defined by the earth it cuts, that then holds it.
Dang Summer. You are on fire 🔥you are one hell of a storyteller and thought provoker- with bite. You rock. It won’t be long before you can quit that job.
Interesting, thanks! The idea of "sacred rage" reminds me of old Buddhist art where the holy figures have an aura of flames... have always been very curious about this. Maybe a full recognition of the things we wish to fight against-- or differentiate ourselves from-- is a fundamental part of becoming fully realized.
I love this depiction of how we can allow events—both public and personal—to shape us into who we want to become. Thanks, Summer! May our rage keep us warm and continue to refine us!
That was a full mouthful, Summer. My take is for me to keep chewing after your essay! For some reason, reading of boundaries and walls, Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick In The Wall” came to mind.
No dark sarcasm in the classroom Hey, teacher, leave the kids alone
An entreaty for having no (government imposed) walls? Or a rejection of being excluded from the process of where walls have any value, or what constitutes a wall. The Montessori classrooms popular some time ago versus trad, regimented public education?
That’s what my search of the song suggested. Teachers were to mold the minds and thinking of their pupils. To be bricks in the wall. Interchangeable parts if you will. Students did in fact rebel over this mindless “education.”
Yes. Back in the day, teachers were seen as vessels full of knowledge who were supposed to pour our knowledge into the brains of our students. Gratefully, the dominant pedagogy has changed and now teachers are being taught how to teach students how to think, not the other way around. Unless you're in certain states/school districts where critical thinking is still considered a threat, of course ;-)
Agreed. Red states are trying to flee the truth. An old saying, “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free” must be very frightening to the un-truthers.
This post kind of freaked me out, it’s like you jumped out of my closet, having spied on everything I am hammering at in my current fiction piece. Thank you for your concise clarity!
Motherhood formed a hard edge for me for sure, one that I think I will always be working on. Grief is forming one now - I don’t know if I will like it or have a lot of say in how it forms. Formidable challenges were something I used to gravitate towards when I was younger, knowing I would be stronger and better on the other side. I think that could still be a little true, but I am also wise enough to know that plenty of challenges will find me and I don’t need to necessarily seek them out anymore.
I relate to this one million per cent. I had to take a deep breath when you said "Motherhood formed a hard edge for me for sure, one that I think I will always be working on" and "grief is forming one now," one you won't have a lot of say in how it forms. Because I feel that so hard. And yes, seeking out challenges in youth to harden me, for sure. And now I want to be soft, but I find myself losing softness and experiencing more rage. Although I guess that makes me stronger. Like you said, the challenges find us now. I dream of a life with much less drama, but drama finds me. I thought it was just a me thing, but I guess we share that.
I think what we like to call creation -- ours or even God's -- starts with reaction. God reacts to chaos in Genesis 1, and I bawled from the bright lights (and the Colic) during my own genesis. (I'm glad that you don't remember the "poi-pose" episode; I'm even more glad that I don't remember the Colic.) Maybe counter-dependency sets in only if I merely react, or if I stay in reaction mode (possibly becoming what I hate). Creativity could be the third dimension where I move out of binary thinking. Anyway, thanks for getting me thinking!
"Every wall we bump against is an opportunity to harden ourselves, to know ourselves, and to create our shape." I like this but prefer to replace the word "create" with "discover."
Struggle has totally showed me who I am. Specifically the worst type of struggle: abuse, and wrong treatment. Looking back, it is these that gratefully brought back my connection to anger, and sacred rage, when my micro culture had completely suppressed it
Those walls are losses in a sense and each loss reshapes us and the world around us. It turns what we’ve taken for granted into something sharp and undeniable. When we lose something we begin to see its true shape. Absence feels at first like a hollow ache or a gaping void, depending on the loss. In that emptiness, we start to understand what mattered. Loss doesn’t just take, it reveals. Like the frame around a painting, it sets the edges that make the picture clear.
What limits us often shows us what we value. A broken arm reminds us of the simple joy of reaching out, while a broken heart teaches us the depth of love we’re capable of. The walls we push against, the obstacles and boundaries we face, define what we’re willing to fight for. Losing something doesn’t just highlight its absence; it reminds us of what’s worth holding onto, what’s worth rebuilding.
Loss isn’t just an ending, it’s a way of learning to see differently. It strips away the blur of comfort and routine, forcing us to focus on what we truly need, what we truly want. In that negative space, we don’t just find grief; we find clarity, and with it, the chance to fill what’s missing with something meaningful.
Thank you for this article. It was meaningful.
This is a stunning, SO true response. Beautiful and beautifully put. No notes.
The revealing reminded me of how the root of apocalypse means "to reveal."
I love these existential, philosophical pontifications! Yes, be like water, but water alone, without boundaries or walls, is just water. A river is defined by the earth it cuts, that then holds it.
I could ponder this all day!
Thanks for starting my day on the right path!
Oooh I like the river analogy! Yeah, and the river cutting through earth can be uncomfortable, even violent.
Dang Summer. You are on fire 🔥you are one hell of a storyteller and thought provoker- with bite. You rock. It won’t be long before you can quit that job.
From your mouth (fingers?) to God (Goddess'/Spirit's?) ears (or insert other sensorial body part)! And thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Saturn just turned direct in Pisces. Water and Limits
Well how's that for a coinkidink? or maybe not? thank you <3
Interesting, thanks! The idea of "sacred rage" reminds me of old Buddhist art where the holy figures have an aura of flames... have always been very curious about this. Maybe a full recognition of the things we wish to fight against-- or differentiate ourselves from-- is a fundamental part of becoming fully realized.
100%!!!!
I love this depiction of how we can allow events—both public and personal—to shape us into who we want to become. Thanks, Summer! May our rage keep us warm and continue to refine us!
Right? Thank you, Holly. I'm trying to reframe my anger/disgust/grief etc. as something positive :)
That was a full mouthful, Summer. My take is for me to keep chewing after your essay! For some reason, reading of boundaries and walls, Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick In The Wall” came to mind.
No dark sarcasm in the classroom Hey, teacher, leave the kids alone
An entreaty for having no (government imposed) walls? Or a rejection of being excluded from the process of where walls have any value, or what constitutes a wall. The Montessori classrooms popular some time ago versus trad, regimented public education?
“Another Brick In The Wall” op cit.
Precisely, case in point! Could Pink Floyd have crafted such a brilliant song + album if they hadn't experienced those "walls"?
That’s what my search of the song suggested. Teachers were to mold the minds and thinking of their pupils. To be bricks in the wall. Interchangeable parts if you will. Students did in fact rebel over this mindless “education.”
Yes. Back in the day, teachers were seen as vessels full of knowledge who were supposed to pour our knowledge into the brains of our students. Gratefully, the dominant pedagogy has changed and now teachers are being taught how to teach students how to think, not the other way around. Unless you're in certain states/school districts where critical thinking is still considered a threat, of course ;-)
Agreed. Red states are trying to flee the truth. An old saying, “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free” must be very frightening to the un-truthers.
This post kind of freaked me out, it’s like you jumped out of my closet, having spied on everything I am hammering at in my current fiction piece. Thank you for your concise clarity!
Hahaha! And fiction parallels life! Thank you for this comment, I love it!
Love it @Summer! Subscribed.
Yay!!!!! Thank you, Kelly!
Motherhood formed a hard edge for me for sure, one that I think I will always be working on. Grief is forming one now - I don’t know if I will like it or have a lot of say in how it forms. Formidable challenges were something I used to gravitate towards when I was younger, knowing I would be stronger and better on the other side. I think that could still be a little true, but I am also wise enough to know that plenty of challenges will find me and I don’t need to necessarily seek them out anymore.
I relate to this one million per cent. I had to take a deep breath when you said "Motherhood formed a hard edge for me for sure, one that I think I will always be working on" and "grief is forming one now," one you won't have a lot of say in how it forms. Because I feel that so hard. And yes, seeking out challenges in youth to harden me, for sure. And now I want to be soft, but I find myself losing softness and experiencing more rage. Although I guess that makes me stronger. Like you said, the challenges find us now. I dream of a life with much less drama, but drama finds me. I thought it was just a me thing, but I guess we share that.
I think what we like to call creation -- ours or even God's -- starts with reaction. God reacts to chaos in Genesis 1, and I bawled from the bright lights (and the Colic) during my own genesis. (I'm glad that you don't remember the "poi-pose" episode; I'm even more glad that I don't remember the Colic.) Maybe counter-dependency sets in only if I merely react, or if I stay in reaction mode (possibly becoming what I hate). Creativity could be the third dimension where I move out of binary thinking. Anyway, thanks for getting me thinking!
I like your take! For me, creativity is making meaning of the chaos. I guess creativity IS the reaction? IDK? help me think this through haha
I like that: creativity doesn't just start with reaction. It is reaction. (But my own thesis breaks down: I love to create chaos!)
Hahahaha sometimes I wonder if I do too!
"Every wall we bump against is an opportunity to harden ourselves, to know ourselves, and to create our shape." I like this but prefer to replace the word "create" with "discover."
I like that better, too. Discover our shapes, yes!
I love you too.
haha awwwww
I love this, Summer. Still finding my poi-pus here! Xx
Haha! thanks, Shelley <3 but I feel like you might already have found it ;-)
Thanks for believing in me! Xx
Struggle has totally showed me who I am. Specifically the worst type of struggle: abuse, and wrong treatment. Looking back, it is these that gratefully brought back my connection to anger, and sacred rage, when my micro culture had completely suppressed it
Exactly. I'm really sorry for everything you went through. Wishing you healing xo
Loved Dr Wendy’s article - I just subscribed. Amazing. Loved!
so rad! I love when good people find good people!