The stuffy! I adore that. What if there were a workshop where adults, who perhaps feel too pressed for time, or not yet confident in their writing skills, could instead make a suite of stuffies that represent chapters in their life? (And maybe I just invented what I need, lol).
Good luck this summer. And take the breaks when you (& the kids) need them. 🫶🏼
Summer Koester: Mary Karr has it about right, as I reflect on my own life's sins and mistakes, even though an outsider looking at my life would have no clue about my own wrongs -- daily!
Your sweet Daughter is so very engaging. What a winning smile! What a wonderful spirit to come up with a haloed, blue, cat-faced fish! That mythical creature is huggable for the girl.
And your son, also with a winsome smile, with the grand view of the valley. What a reward after a mountain climb.
Boy, do I EVER agree with you, we are FULL of opinions expressed by others and indulged by us over the terrible crises of the world.
I was born of a Belgian Mom (French-speaking ("Walloon") from Charleroi only a couple years after the War.
We see NOTHING today in comparison.
Stalin murdered a score of millions of his own people, six-million among the Ukrainians alone. Hitler. Well, I know a lot quite personal about the invasions and tyranny of the Third Reich from occupied Belgium during the war.
No. Bad things happen. But I was five years old before Joseph Stalin died. And with him the perverted Lavrenti Beria.
My view of today is tempered by the times I grew up from.
You do quite right to concentrate on the children.
The children are such a spiritual, new, awakening, hopeful side of yourself. As your daughter imagines a hopeful, cheerful, cat-faced fish, blue in color, adorned with halo, she inherits part of your own imagination and spirituality.
As your son climbs, with a feeling of freedom and joy that this brings, rewarded by the expansive, breezy valley view, your spirit shares in the very fresh, fragrant air of freedom.
Thank you for that, Armand! I hope that by tending to them, we’re “starting local” as they say, tryna make the world a better place. I agree that history was much, much worse. However, many see comparisons between what Trump is trying to do now and the beginnings of fascism in Europe. And the Supreme Court… yikes! But I’m no historian so I’ll let others right about that 🫣
I think we are all feeling all the feels and have little filter left this time of year. There has been some heavy emotional stuff, there has been school ending chaos, and it’s exhausting. Take the break. It will be okay
On the grandmama end of this and I extend my heart to all you mamas out there navigating the world, and summertime especially. They are still so young, need your attention so desperately. You aren't really pausing creativity, your just collecting moments and fodder for expression later. Best.
Pausing creation is complicated for me. I often lose my footing on that project, leave it be forever or for just long enough to miss it. But I set creation aside for a reason—whether it’s health or needing to be there for someone. It’s not something I take lightly. So, though it’s hard, it’s necessary sometimes. And often it brings clarity and beauty in the end. When you come back, you’re a new version of yourself. You get the fun and laborious work of asking your brain, “What do we want to make?”
And as to memoirs feeling like fists. Yes. I agree. I was talking to my sister about this, about how to make a truly great memoir, you will probably hurt. Some people tell their stories, recount their lives. Those can be good memoirs but are rarely exceptional. It’s the ones that come with wisdom, insight, the ones where the author can look back and share something about themselves or their lives, make parallels or see things differently by the end that hit the hardest. Time and distance often give that ability more than anything, but anyone can garner wisdom at any time if they do the searching. But to dig into one’s soul like that, pick apart their lives and look for meaning, hold empathy for their past selves and connect with others is painful. It dredges, it consumes, it’s raw and brutal. It’s cathartic and unhealthy and healing.
Thank you for saying that! I needed to hear that. Especially interested in what you say about it being both unhealthy and healing. I love me a good paradox!
Second note: I love that plushie! And that you and your son are going on hikes! It’s good to take a break and spend time with the family, away from screens and the ugly world. Happy summer break🧡
Yeah, I remember being banished outdoors now and again with a dollar that could buy me an Icee and candy. It would always be on a lovely summer day when I had to find something fun to do by myself—rollerblade to Mariah Carey or pretend I was a beauty consultant or race down hills with boys or just lay on the sidewalk and watch the condensation drip from my cup and talking about Life. You'll find the balance. Until you do, enjoy the process if possible <3
I’m glad you took time to be with your kids during their first week of summer. 😊. Keep doing it. Don’t forget to nurture the kid within you too! Perhaps you three can go on an adventures, then each of you can write or create something about the adventure. If you do, please share them with us.
I am not a published writer, but I journal in spurts, write personal narratives, and I am trying a substack because I want to find my voice. I’ve never written a memoir, but I have written some hard personal narratives.
Sometimes I have amazing moments when I write or journal. When I spill my guts on paper in anger, regret, frustration, as I write a change happened. It’s as if the holier spirit within me takes the pen, once I spew out the crap. She softens the tone and shows me a different side, a new perspective, a way to heal. I cherish the memory of those moments. When I follow through, they change my life trajectory.
I hope your writing is helpful and healing for you. Thank you for sharing your adventures, your kids, your thoughts, your growth.
I'm struggling with mindfulness right now as well. I didn't know screen addiction until probably 1993 or so, when complete finally got cheap enough for households to have them. I immediately got addicted to games, like the ORIGINAL Sim City. Could play that thing for hours at a time, and I did! And early chat forums on dial-up no less.
I say that to day this: I'm really reliant on my smart phone now. I lose track of time constantly. I interest myself in whatever rabbit hole has my attention that minute. My thoughts are scattered, and vacillate between total focus on a topic and total indulgent mindlessness.
In a way, I've given up trying to control this. I am trying now to use technology to focus myself. For instance, all the reading I do here. My Bible devotional apps which I'm in every day. I recently found a new app called Finch that is a self-help and mindfulness app that is packaged into a virtual pet. It gives me little payoffs for completing tasks related to self-care.
So, that's where I am. I still struggle with my screen time, and maybe I always will. But I'm fighting.
The dopamine we receive from our phones and devices is akin to what addicts receive. It’s so hard. But also, like you mention your Bible apps, so useful! Its a whole new world. In solidarity!
My wife had a very emotionally abusive ex-husband, and she still acts like I'm him sometimes after being together for five years, and I hate him for that.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm sure I project my ex's shit onto my husband, too. As in, being more fearful (unknowingly, of course), meaning reacting with fear and defensiveness or whatever. My husband sometimes acts like I'm his six older sisters which is why he thinks I'm always picking on him or bossing him around - which is not true, of course, but was his experience with strong women. And I resent his sisters for that!
Happy beginning of summer to you. I'll be in the same place in two weeks. Bracing myself a bit for the impact on my writing routine, but also looking forward to a more relaxed vibe in the house.
Yes! It's a catch-22, for sure. Definitely more relaxed vibe, which I love, until my kids start fighting, lol, or I have to wrestle the screens from their hands, or they don't listen and I yell. Good luck, mama!
Writing a memoir would have to be an act of bravery wouldn’t it?! Particularly if there be dragons in the past. Admiration for you! Maybe too, pressing pause on creativity is a necessary period of time to discover what new idea wants to be birthed by you. We need the quiet to hear the calling. ☺️
Oh no! Maybe that's part of writing it for me. Reframing the narrative. Understanding why I did what I did. Because it's hard to look back and think "hmm, winning." But everything has two sides, right? So writing it could excavate those sides. But I'm not trying to talk you into it, just playing devil's advocate :-D
I’ve thought of writing a Confession (to invoke an older term), but it would be simply to unstintingly tell the truth, and it would never be intended to see the public light of day.
The stuffy! I adore that. What if there were a workshop where adults, who perhaps feel too pressed for time, or not yet confident in their writing skills, could instead make a suite of stuffies that represent chapters in their life? (And maybe I just invented what I need, lol).
Good luck this summer. And take the breaks when you (& the kids) need them. 🫶🏼
I love that idea 🐶
I think arts of all kinds create soft, hard, and scary stuffies for comfort, clarity, and growth for themselves and others.
Taking care of yourself and your children is the most loving activity, and so necessary. Immerse yourself in that as long as you need to.
Thank you Cindy 💕
Summer Koester: Mary Karr has it about right, as I reflect on my own life's sins and mistakes, even though an outsider looking at my life would have no clue about my own wrongs -- daily!
Your sweet Daughter is so very engaging. What a winning smile! What a wonderful spirit to come up with a haloed, blue, cat-faced fish! That mythical creature is huggable for the girl.
And your son, also with a winsome smile, with the grand view of the valley. What a reward after a mountain climb.
Boy, do I EVER agree with you, we are FULL of opinions expressed by others and indulged by us over the terrible crises of the world.
I was born of a Belgian Mom (French-speaking ("Walloon") from Charleroi only a couple years after the War.
We see NOTHING today in comparison.
Stalin murdered a score of millions of his own people, six-million among the Ukrainians alone. Hitler. Well, I know a lot quite personal about the invasions and tyranny of the Third Reich from occupied Belgium during the war.
No. Bad things happen. But I was five years old before Joseph Stalin died. And with him the perverted Lavrenti Beria.
My view of today is tempered by the times I grew up from.
You do quite right to concentrate on the children.
The children are such a spiritual, new, awakening, hopeful side of yourself. As your daughter imagines a hopeful, cheerful, cat-faced fish, blue in color, adorned with halo, she inherits part of your own imagination and spirituality.
As your son climbs, with a feeling of freedom and joy that this brings, rewarded by the expansive, breezy valley view, your spirit shares in the very fresh, fragrant air of freedom.
Thank you for that, Armand! I hope that by tending to them, we’re “starting local” as they say, tryna make the world a better place. I agree that history was much, much worse. However, many see comparisons between what Trump is trying to do now and the beginnings of fascism in Europe. And the Supreme Court… yikes! But I’m no historian so I’ll let others right about that 🫣
Summer Koester: You are a generous, wonderful person, and your kids are blessed and lucky to have such a LOVING Mom!
You reflect a whole and complete being in your writing that I love to read.
Oh my, thank you so much for that! 💕
I think we are all feeling all the feels and have little filter left this time of year. There has been some heavy emotional stuff, there has been school ending chaos, and it’s exhausting. Take the break. It will be okay
Totally! Right? Thank you for validating that!
On the grandmama end of this and I extend my heart to all you mamas out there navigating the world, and summertime especially. They are still so young, need your attention so desperately. You aren't really pausing creativity, your just collecting moments and fodder for expression later. Best.
Awww yes!!! collecting moments and fodder for later. Most writers would probably agree that is writing, right?
Pausing creation is complicated for me. I often lose my footing on that project, leave it be forever or for just long enough to miss it. But I set creation aside for a reason—whether it’s health or needing to be there for someone. It’s not something I take lightly. So, though it’s hard, it’s necessary sometimes. And often it brings clarity and beauty in the end. When you come back, you’re a new version of yourself. You get the fun and laborious work of asking your brain, “What do we want to make?”
And as to memoirs feeling like fists. Yes. I agree. I was talking to my sister about this, about how to make a truly great memoir, you will probably hurt. Some people tell their stories, recount their lives. Those can be good memoirs but are rarely exceptional. It’s the ones that come with wisdom, insight, the ones where the author can look back and share something about themselves or their lives, make parallels or see things differently by the end that hit the hardest. Time and distance often give that ability more than anything, but anyone can garner wisdom at any time if they do the searching. But to dig into one’s soul like that, pick apart their lives and look for meaning, hold empathy for their past selves and connect with others is painful. It dredges, it consumes, it’s raw and brutal. It’s cathartic and unhealthy and healing.
Thank you for saying that! I needed to hear that. Especially interested in what you say about it being both unhealthy and healing. I love me a good paradox!
Of course! And yeah, that's something that makes a good writer, I think—a love of paradoxes. :)
Second note: I love that plushie! And that you and your son are going on hikes! It’s good to take a break and spend time with the family, away from screens and the ugly world. Happy summer break🧡
Thanks, Elle! I'm going to see how much of this I can balance. I still need to work, but also keep my son busy doing healthy stuff!
Yeah, I remember being banished outdoors now and again with a dollar that could buy me an Icee and candy. It would always be on a lovely summer day when I had to find something fun to do by myself—rollerblade to Mariah Carey or pretend I was a beauty consultant or race down hills with boys or just lay on the sidewalk and watch the condensation drip from my cup and talking about Life. You'll find the balance. Until you do, enjoy the process if possible <3
I love that! we lived far from friends. I longed for that!
Hate to hear that. Perhaps it can be recreated as an adult. Full support for play pretend at any age🧡
I’m glad you took time to be with your kids during their first week of summer. 😊. Keep doing it. Don’t forget to nurture the kid within you too! Perhaps you three can go on an adventures, then each of you can write or create something about the adventure. If you do, please share them with us.
I am not a published writer, but I journal in spurts, write personal narratives, and I am trying a substack because I want to find my voice. I’ve never written a memoir, but I have written some hard personal narratives.
Sometimes I have amazing moments when I write or journal. When I spill my guts on paper in anger, regret, frustration, as I write a change happened. It’s as if the holier spirit within me takes the pen, once I spew out the crap. She softens the tone and shows me a different side, a new perspective, a way to heal. I cherish the memory of those moments. When I follow through, they change my life trajectory.
I hope your writing is helpful and healing for you. Thank you for sharing your adventures, your kids, your thoughts, your growth.
Sounds like the muse is visiting! I love that! Thats why we write right? To heal and learn and gain more insight and closure. Write on ❤️🩹
I'm struggling with mindfulness right now as well. I didn't know screen addiction until probably 1993 or so, when complete finally got cheap enough for households to have them. I immediately got addicted to games, like the ORIGINAL Sim City. Could play that thing for hours at a time, and I did! And early chat forums on dial-up no less.
I say that to day this: I'm really reliant on my smart phone now. I lose track of time constantly. I interest myself in whatever rabbit hole has my attention that minute. My thoughts are scattered, and vacillate between total focus on a topic and total indulgent mindlessness.
In a way, I've given up trying to control this. I am trying now to use technology to focus myself. For instance, all the reading I do here. My Bible devotional apps which I'm in every day. I recently found a new app called Finch that is a self-help and mindfulness app that is packaged into a virtual pet. It gives me little payoffs for completing tasks related to self-care.
So, that's where I am. I still struggle with my screen time, and maybe I always will. But I'm fighting.
The dopamine we receive from our phones and devices is akin to what addicts receive. It’s so hard. But also, like you mention your Bible apps, so useful! Its a whole new world. In solidarity!
We are in a similar boat here. Best of luck! (That stuffy is so cute!)
Thanks! Best of luck to you too 💕
On abusers and victims:
My wife had a very emotionally abusive ex-husband, and she still acts like I'm him sometimes after being together for five years, and I hate him for that.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm sure I project my ex's shit onto my husband, too. As in, being more fearful (unknowingly, of course), meaning reacting with fear and defensiveness or whatever. My husband sometimes acts like I'm his six older sisters which is why he thinks I'm always picking on him or bossing him around - which is not true, of course, but was his experience with strong women. And I resent his sisters for that!
Happy beginning of summer to you. I'll be in the same place in two weeks. Bracing myself a bit for the impact on my writing routine, but also looking forward to a more relaxed vibe in the house.
Yes! It's a catch-22, for sure. Definitely more relaxed vibe, which I love, until my kids start fighting, lol, or I have to wrestle the screens from their hands, or they don't listen and I yell. Good luck, mama!
Your children are lovely.
Thank you, Robert!
Writing a memoir would have to be an act of bravery wouldn’t it?! Particularly if there be dragons in the past. Admiration for you! Maybe too, pressing pause on creativity is a necessary period of time to discover what new idea wants to be birthed by you. We need the quiet to hear the calling. ☺️
It's true! We need the quiet to be able to listen. <3
I don’t want to write a memoir. It would be an account of failure, and I think, too tediously unpleasant for anyone to read.
Oh no! Maybe that's part of writing it for me. Reframing the narrative. Understanding why I did what I did. Because it's hard to look back and think "hmm, winning." But everything has two sides, right? So writing it could excavate those sides. But I'm not trying to talk you into it, just playing devil's advocate :-D
I’ve thought of writing a Confession (to invoke an older term), but it would be simply to unstintingly tell the truth, and it would never be intended to see the public light of day.
Thats ok too
first, sending you a big hug.
love the stuffy.
a reset: take the time you need, please. i'm (we're--generously speaking for everyone) not going anywhere.
Love you, Anne!
I love the stuffy, both the concept and execution! Brilliant!
Thanks, Jennifer!