They can't have our feelings
or our words
Eight years ago, the day #45 was elected, I barfed my brains out. Bawled down the house, too.
My nephew-in-law has a sticker on his truck that reads, TRUMP 2024: MAKE LIBERALS CRY AGAIN. This time I decided I wouldn’t let him, MAGA, Incel poster boy Nick Fuentes, or anyone else hold that power.
But our bodies keep the score, and on the way to Palm Springs for post election vacay, I puked on the plane. My daughter disappeared in the airport when she saw my sandwich, then she lost her cookies, too.
Last week we went to Joshua Tree. It felt like a different planet. I’m in that nebulous space between dissociation and numbness and delusion, which feels like being high on cough meds.
Also, trying to be present. My therapist uses the grounding technique of looking around me and taking note of things.
When Trump separated parents from children, I felt the grief as if they were my own. Maybe because I was married to a Venezuelan. Maybe because so many of my friends were immigrants. Maybe because I had a Venezuelan friend apprehended by ICE and got super sick in the “hielera” (ice box) that held him for 3 months. At the time, I had two kids under five. I knew it was dumb luck that I wasn’t that mother torn from her crying toddler.
Did my sobbing in bed and writing songs about it at 2 in the morning help? Did my donations, posters, protests, and letters to lawmakers help?
I reached for news for comfort, trying to find something good and never finding it. Usually, the news made me feel worse. This time, I will draw better boundaries as to how much news I consume.
Also, how I consume it. Editors have changed my headlines to something I never even claimed because they generated feelings, which generated clicks. From experience I know that the media wants to create an emotional response.
Still, we need the media now more than ever. However, I must remember not to react emotionally to headlines and filter what I read.
My sister and her hubs joined us in Palm Springs, and we were discussing how Trump’s “enemy within” comments might affect art and censorship. It’s easy to spiral, to get scared to speak out and speak the truth.
It’s not far-fetched, either. Alaskan blogger and friend One Hot Mess lost her job as Alaskan assistant attorney general because our Trump-loving governor didn’t like her tweets. She and the ACLU sued and, many years later, won, but it cost her a lot.
Still, Trump and his minions can’t have my feelings… and nor can they take my words. So, I will keep writing for now.
How are you feeling about everything? Drop a line.
ox, Summer
When Pluto was last in Aquarius, we had the American and French Revolutions. Pluto is headed back into Aquarius next week, unofficially kicking off what I'm calling the Crucible Year.
The Bully Pulpit thinks it's a done deal. I look at the stars and say, Not Necessarily.
Let's get ready to Rumble!
Post election writing retreat Kauai. Poetry with Billy Collins. An antidote to grief! Salty tears dissolve in the salty sea. The moon floats above the palms and I relax into the moment. Love seeing your kiddoes in climbing helmets!❤️